My second daughter is getting to that age where wearing diapers is a little unusual. At one point (long, long ago, it seems) she decided she wanted to switch to big girl unders, so she’s potty training. Or, we think she’s potty training. Her reactions to said endeavor are all over the map and on any given day (or at any given hour or minute) I truly do not know if we’re making progress or not.
It has been the ultimate opportunity to practice the “Love is Patient” part of the “Give Love to Your Children” portion of my challenge. And because I still struggle now and then to practice patience every minute in every situation, I wrote this to help me along.
Ok, fine, I might be venting via bad poetry. But if you can’t vent a little potty training humor via bad poetry on a blog, then why have a blog at all? And if you’ve ever had a “delayed” potty trainer, maybe this will make you smile.
The Potty Prayer
I had never thought about it much before;
It seemed such a natural thing to do.
Just eat and drink throughout the day,
And when your brain sends the signal, step into the loo.
But it seems that this job is much harder to learn
Than I had originally thought.
For my little one, by all accounts, quite wonderfully smart,
Is a little confused when it comes to the pot.
I have seen many things in our potty of late:
Barretts and toy cars, to name a few.
But ne’er do I find what I so wish to see:
Just my potty trainee’s pee and poo.
We’ve watched the movies and read the books,
The “open door policy” has been engaged. (umm… side note: gross)
We’re on day ninety-four of the three-day-method,
And every doll in our house is a potty sage.
But the facts are the same and they’re not all that pretty.
Our washer is spent and our carpets are dirty.
My toddler cares not if she’s dripping or smelly.
She’ll happily wear diapers until she’s twelve.
Dear Lord, will you help me endure this great trial?
My patience is lost and wants not to be found.
It was easy, for a while, to stay calm and collected
When she skipped past the potty and went on the ground.
But the chairs? And the pillows? The couch and the beds?
The toys! The blankets! The books! The TV!
I don’t know your opinion, but I firmly believe
That these things should never be covered in pee.
We’ve followed instructions from this expert and that.
We consulted our doctor (and Dr. Phil).
Praise flows from our lips for the tiniest successes,
With stickers and treats she could have to her fill.
We’ve tried constant reminders, reminders less often,
We tried leaving it entirely up to her.
It’s still the same story, every which way:
She must be on board for this to occur.
Lord, help me to show her my love never sways.
It’s she that’s important, no matter her ways.
And some day, please, I’ll hear that magical phrase:
“Mommy, I need to go potty.”
© Leave Happier (https://leavehappier.wordpress.com) Just sayin’.